Love, Ambition and Other Disasters
Love, Ambition and Other Disasters (part 1)
"You give till it hurts and then you give some more."
I have been in love with love since i could say it to my teddy as kid. I love, love. I love how warm it can make you feel, I love how it sometimes makes you say the wrong things, I love how unpredictable it can be, I even love how vicious it is at times. I simply love it. They say.. they as in them as in well them :) They say romance movies rot the brain that it makes you a little less likely to find the love of your life because you have so many unrealistic scenarios playing hopscotch in your temporal lobe, but i am not like that. I have not been brain washed by romance cinema. The Notebook, Titanic and Susan Slept Here have not given me some unrealistic notion of what love is and if they had… so what? Whats so wrong with believing love can be just as whimsical and just as exciting in real life as it is in movies? Why are we not allowed that? Whatever i guess my point is you will have whatever type of love you believe you deserve and it may not take you as long as the “love challenged” people claim it will. I grew up watching sad sappy romance films and the malicious confusing romance films and the “unrealistic” you make me want to dance romance films and i have to say i love just as hard as i would have if i hadn’t. The world has banned the “you make me want to dance” love and deemed it unrealistic and ridiculous just because they don’t know how to have it, they don’t know if they deserve it and they don’t know how far to reach. How ambitious are you? When i look at something i don’t look at one part i look at all of the parts and then it as a whole. People nowadays look at the word ambition and think money, fame, “I want to own 6 restaurants by the time i am 23.” which is fine..if you are looking at the word for yourself but if you are looking for someone else then you ought to look at all parts then it as a whole. Different people have different ambitions. Ambition is defined : (1) A strong desire to do or achieve something. Typically requiring determination and hard work. (2) Desire and determination to achieve success. Not once do you see Ambition is only the strong desire to own 6 restaurants by the time you are 23. Ambition comes in many different forms so why does the world limit us to just one? I’ve heard that women who want kids, who pick love over i don’t know.. becoming a model or doctor or the fucking president have no ambition. Why is that? Ambition is not married to one kind of desire. There is nothing wrong choosing love. Why is raising an amazing human being not equally insanely brilliant as wanting a high power career? The desire is just a strong (in some cases). We constantly set ourselves back we can advance in all of these new ways but can’t and won’t advance in something as simple as a word. I am someone who does not wear ambition on my sleeve, that does not mean i have less than others. I want a lot of different things some of which are insane others that are moderately simple. I am someone who wants to raise a beautiful human being, and give my husband every reason in this world to be happy and i am the type of person who if i had to choose between owning 6 restaurants by the time i am 23 and marrying the love of my life i would choose love every time because whats the point if you’re there alone? That does not make weak and unambitious it most certainly does not mean i am drowning in what society says women should want and that i am undeserving of someone who has a different kind of ambition. I think it makes me strong and well-rounded, passionate, extremely ambitious and brave because choosing something so unpredictable and sometimes vicious is a scary thing.. it’s the most frighting next to dying. I am not any less motivated and deserving than any one else. I am a person who thinks differently than you. I am someone who knows what they want. I’m aware that some people may read this and believe that i am ignorant and a failure and that would be their opinion they may laugh at the fact that i believe the zombie apocalypse will never happen, and that trees are just as human as well..a human. I believe birds are total assholes and the little things matter and if you actually want to make time for someone you will and i believe that loving someone with only half of yourself is a slap in your own face. I am someone who loves fiercely and i pride myself on that because not many people know how to. I am someone who knows that the things that are meant to be sometimes aren’t. I am someone who loves A1 steak sauce but doesn’t eat steak and i believe that animals will rule the school again sooner than later. I am someone who is willing to move however many miles to be with the love of my life even if i am not his. I still believe in soul mates and magic and high school sweethearts. People who think like me are not unambitious and simple they are exactly ambitious and brilliant and just as worthy and frightened as anyone else in the world.
"We are all scared if you’re not scared you’re not paying attention."